Friday, August 28, 2015

I’m almost too excited to write today. This weekend I’m heading to the Berkshires for my cousin’s wedding, and I cannot WAIT. I pick up my (sainted) little brother at the airport at 1:30 and then we’re off to have an amazing weekend full of family and love. I’m so happy for Amy; her fiancé Dan is the greatest, and he absolutely adores her. Amy and Dan give me hope for my own love life. 

I spent most of last night wandering around Boston trying to find just the right shades of lipstick and nail polish, and then applying said lipstick and nail polish and staring at myself for prolonged periods in the mirror to assess the complete effect. It was particularly attractive when I had a white strip affixed to my teeth. This morning, I am “working at home” before heading to the airport. I had good intentions when I said I was going to work at home. I swear I did. I had visions of getting a lot done. But I’m so excited. And I have such little concentration to begin with. We’ll see. 

In celebration of my deliriously happy disposition, let me give you the best story that I’ve seen all week: Charlie Sheen wants to be Donald Trump’s vice president. Sheen tweeted to his 11.5 million Twitter followers: “If Trump would hv me, I’d be his VP in a heartbeat.” Can you guys even imagine? Of course, Sheen would be a complete disaster if he were officially lodged in the Naval Observatory (usually the Vice President’s significant other isn’t a professional stripper), but the debates would be supremely entertaining. I would love to hear him tell Elizabeth Warren/ Martin O’Malley/ Carly Fiorina or any other number of likely vice-presidential candidates that tiger blood courses through his veins. Of course, just five short weeks ago (which is perhaps a lifetime for the actor), Sheen called Trump a “sad and silly homonclus” and said that Trump’s words were “as poignant as a sack of cat farts… You’re a shame pile of idiocy.” I think I agree with Charlie Sheen on something. #winning 

Speaking of controversial vice-presidential candidates, Sarah Palin managed to make herself relevant this week by stating that she thinks ESPN buys into ISIS propaganda. Palin called out the network after it suspended commentator and former Red Sox ace Curt Schilling from coverage of the Little League World Series for posting an offensive tweet comparing radical Muslims to Nazis.  Palin called ESPN a “JOURNALISTIC EMBARASSMENT” (the all-caps were hers, not mine) and said that “there’s been crude, rude bile spewing from the once-great sports network for years now.” Palin then stated that Schilling’s tweet had been “too generous” in comparing Muslims and Nazis. Are Palin and Charlie Sheen engaged in a secret competition as to who can be the most outrageous in any given week? Schilling, for his part, has apologized. 

That’s all for today, friends! Have a great weekend! xoxo

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